I don’t know how to express myself when it comes to this subject. Some of my friends do ask me if I need their company, I am free to call them, so that I don’t feel lonely.
Honestly and truthfully, I’ve never felt lonely at all, every time I do everything all alone by myself. This doesn’t define who is the real me, people might think that I’m socially awkward or such an anti-social person or friendless, etc. The truth is, I am not (occasionally or rarely I am, however, it depends on the situation or the people I interface with).
Well, I couldn’t agree more that, we may and can not be able to make babies alone. It is just, I somehow find myself choosing to do things alone rather than inviting others to join in, because I feel more comfortable with myself doing things alone and I suppose I am more to being an unassisted person. Yes, this probably sounds like cocky.
Of course I do need people’s help in certain things that I am not capable to do, but yet, it doesn’t mean that I need them all the time. There’s certain time that you want to have catch-up sessions with your friends, and sometimes you don’t. There are two points stood out, whereby, I don’t feel like entertaining another because I feel enough for myself.
“In fact, I feel I’m perfectly entitled to simply not be in the mood to entertain someone through an activity or indulge in small talk.”
It’s not just that asking people is a hard thing for an introvert like me, but it often brings up the “excusative” side of people. Doing things on my own means I can do them at my own pace.
We all have different levels of maximum loneliness we can tolerate, and mine happens to be quite high. It’s not that I would mind hanging out with the right sort of people more, but all to often it takes so much trouble to set up meetings and such that it’s just easier to do things on my own.
When I go out somewhere alone, I can focus on the place. I can walk at my own pace. I can stop and linger over some detail that other people wouldn’t have any patience for.
Not even the loneliest of us can help being social. We are all interconnected. We all depend on each other in some way. You just can’t be lonely too long if you live in a community. Even the simple greeting of a neighbor that knows you only from sight will break through that loneliness and warm you up inside.
That’s why sometimes it’s better to just do what you want to do without worrying whether others will join you or not. Today there is a big emphasis on groups, teams, and communities. Even a big loner like me can understand the benefits of these. Why else would I be here, blogging?
But some of us do function well alone. Selective loneliness, which happens when we choose to be lonely over alternatives is not just one of the indulgences that us shy, introverted, quiet types can appreciate, but a simple pleasure we can give ourselves without second thoughts.
I have always loved my alone time, and I am grateful that I am comfortable enough in my own skin not to need company to feel secure. But yeah, I understand why extroverts would usually want to be with company. Every human being has the right to search for happiness they are comfortable with. And happiness here is meant, something that makes them and others feel content.