Opinion: Lust, Love and Respect?

“Good people bring out the good in people”

First and foremost, I suppose what I am going to write here would be quite sensitive for some people, especially men. It does not mean that I am referring to all men in this universe, but… yeah who feels the pinch, will feel the pain.

It is very mainstream according to Islamic studies, to say that men have 1 lust, and women have 9 lusts. Technically, one particular lust we are now talking about is that of, lust for sex. What has brought me to write about such a thing because, I’ve heard plenty of stories with regard to such matters, whether from the victim or the perpetrator.

Ever thought about the differences between love and lust? Sometimes we have carnal desires, other times, we yearn for an emotional connection. That’s in fact normal. But, what the hell does it all mean to men? We think we have a pretty good idea, from “she is the one” to a casual romp in the bed. Okay, that’s stupid. When a man says that he loves you and at the same time he wants you to entertain him sexually, such as having a virtual sex. That’s lust, he is not in love with you, but he is lusting after you. If he wants to know everything about you, the good, the bad and the ugly, then that might be love (depends though). But… if he only wants to know what you look like naked, it’s indeed lust.

As a matter of fact, if he really, truly, sincerely loves you, he would never ever touch matters pertaining to your personal things or parts (your body is private), because everyone shall have their own personal boundaries, in any manner though, which might as well involve and concern about personal touch and space. A real man should respect a woman, not only physically and emotionally, but also the woman’s dignity and pride. I don’t think by having phone sex, would be an accurate way to show if he really loves you. Otherwise, it shows how their impressions towards you as a woman, that you are so easy (by which you are in actual fact, as cheap as a prostitute).

Domestic abuse is real, whether it is against women nor men. If there is a woman who will go on her life with a man after having sexual intercourse or even phone sex, let me tell you something, she is such an idiot, perhaps she’s kinda suffering brain death (lol). Why am I saying this? Because, a woman seeks for respect and a girl seeks for attention from a man, it goes both ways, mutual as for men. Inasmuch as, respect goes both ways too.

Hence, never accept any shitty men in your life, you know he is able to ruin your whole life latter. Choose wisely, living in 2017 and afterwards, would be very hard to find a good man. It is true to say that we have to accept someone for who they are, but never ever let yourself to be played of by anyone. Don’t ever let someone get comfortable with disrespecting you. If he does not respect you, he does not deserve your body. Thus, don’t be the good woman he crawls back to when he is done fucking around.

Owing to that fact, women are victims most of the time. It doesn’t mean that violence or discrimination against men does not happen and that those cases should be ignored. But this proves that more women live in fear than men do. And this is definitely not saying that men are not victims of sexual assault, it is saying that this barrier between genders is so engrained into our minds that woman are just automatically taught to protect themselves from rape. Of course, this isn’t to say that sexual and physical violence does not happen to men. It is more that women have to deal with more and are taught from a young age how to act in order to protect ourselves from men.

Nevertheless, as a feminist, and a female, I find this completely true and slightly heartbreaking, but I also acknowledge that males can also be sexually harassed or raped, by females or other males. Victims know no gender. It absolutely baffles me how ignorant some men are to what it is like to be a woman in this society. It sickens me. You could also decide to be a feminist without qualifying your relationship to women and just because it’s the right thing to do. I’m crying. It is sad how men do not understand until someone they love gets hurt or they see something like this. People are selfish and psychopaths.

Further, there is a quote saying, “A women should not have to be modest to be respected”. Because men certainly put the blame on how the women dress up which might cause them to feel frisky about it.

However, from my point of view, women should never be judged by what they wear, in fact the way a woman dresses is not ever an excuse or a reason to rape her nor judge her as a person. Women should be free to express themselves in any way they want, and they deserve to be respected by men, period. Why does the society imply that we should “Respect our body by covering up?” but also imply that we should “Show more skin if we want to be attractive?”. We live in a world where it is not acceptable to be pleased or proud of something you’ve done. If you are apparently ‘showing off’, instead we learn not to be pleased or proud and that can lead to low self esteem. I support this, but I’ll go one further. I’d like to add, “Neither should they be condemned for wearing a hijab or niqab”. Because every person deserves respect.



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